returning to society (i.e. corporate)
the ups and downs of the past 611 days spent dilly dallying
📍Where is coriils? From Europe to Asia, and back in Toronto. For good. (For now.)
There are a bunch of you who are new here from my New_ Public piece! Hello! If you’re just looking for more on third spaces, conlavita.substack.com is what you’re looking for, not this, my personal blog. Cheers! 💫
“A lot can change in a year.” Last month, my friend joined in on some of my travels. Since I’ve seen her, she’s spent another season in Niseko and is now, a videographer. Wow! The sparkle of that title. The last time I saw her, about a year ago, she wasn’t there yet. But here she was, living proof that indeed, a lot can change in a year.
Like most soon-to-be revelations, this line stuck with me. I flipped it around in my head trying to figure out if I agreed or not. After all, I spent my past year doing a few more flights around the world, an unsuccessful job search, and what? I started listing the things I planned on doing: documenting my travels since Dec 2022 in both vlog and blog form, my PMP, more of my deprioritized hobbies — but that’s not the point.
The point is that yes, I had all this time, and I didn’t spend it according to a checklist. I spent a huge chunk of it with family, friends, on long walks I might not have taken PTO for, on sleep, on waking up to days with absolutely nothing planned, on location independence.
I wonder if I’ve always been this chill of a person. If I conveyed this chillness while I was a consultant. If after 1.67 years without full-time employment, I’ve achieved a new tier of chill. The chillness comes through in how I continue to believe in a positive future, for both the world and for my own life. I view time as both abundant and something that needs to be protected. I don’t think these are new to me, but being able to write them out is.
So although a lot can change in a year, and a lot didn’t change for me in 1.67 years, a lot happened.
I. a career break that turns out longer than expected 🔮
i.e. if nothing else, I am a planner. [December 2022 - June 2023]
When I initially left on this career break, I thought my only plan was to go teach snowboarding in Japan. But somehow, it was like a bowling ball rolling down a large mountain, unable to be stopped. The meticulous plan turned into actually leaving my old job, trying out a new one, then a fully unplanned future ahead of me.
In hindsight, it’s so funny to me that I planned to go straight back to work after a 4-month break. I can’t believe I didn’t plan on taking the whole year off from my career originally! I had the working holiday visa for 12 months! I would’ve spent my whole year in Japan doing work-stay exchanges and learning Japanese! Alas.
With a future filled of only uncertainty, I started frantically planning out my life month-by-month. I would write down new iterations on Google Keep, and in every active notebook I had. I started daydreaming parallel paths, but surprisingly, the variable was always when I would start my expected, hypothetical new job.
But before the next big thing, I thought I’d give myself a break — 6 weeks in Europe, doing a trip I could never have done solely on PTO.
II. a travel extravaganza 🛫
i.e. what else can I do with all this time? // [July 2023 - November 2023]
The Dolomites hike had been booked for months. And I realized that July 2023 was the first time I didn’t have any work lined up since 2014. What freedom! What can I possibly do with this time?
So one year ago, I left for Europe, the “big trip” it was supposed to be. (Don’t mind the other big trip I end up doing a year later…)
Then with the extra time I had, I thought, why don’t I make time for a 9-day kayak trip? Why don’t I spend some more time in Vancouver leading up to it? Why can’t we road trip to the Eastern tip of Quebec for the Fall colours? Why shouldn’t I join my parents in Hong Kong in November? Where the heck am I?
III. a rollercoaster of uncertainty🎢
i.e. where the heck is my career? // [December 2023 - June 2024]
Each time I left, I thought “this is my last hoorah,” only to return without a job offer in hand.
After a rapid interview process over the winter break turned into another sad email, I intentionally shifted how I allocated my time. I decided not to spend all my time on job applications, even when all I wanted was to return to my corporate career. I knew that I needed to ensure success in different ways, just in case.
I chose not to go back to Niseko, but instead, I spent my time supervising twice a week at Blue Mountain. Life would be different if I went back for a second season. But I made the tradeoff a long time ago, in anticipation of starting a job anytime.
With long stretches of empty winter days, I found the time to do some freelance writing! And for these pieces, time is what I needed.
When I went through bouts of concern I thought, “would a job solve all my problems right now? Is this what happens when you lose momentum?” Then as quickly as I let invasive thoughts in, the joyful inner voices chimed in, “if the job was meant for you, surely, it would happen.”
The hardest part of this situation was constantly weighing between a short-term mindset and a long-term mindset. It became a puzzle of potential jobs and non-finalized travel plans with no way of predicting the future. Can I plan to be away for anywhere from 3 weeks to 2 months, or will I have a job by then?
In April, I interviewed for some of the coolest jobs I’d ever seen while also having a teeny part of me hoping that if they wanted me, they would be okay with me starting several months later. It was weird timing!
Another part of this is the fact that indeed, I had been burning money since last July, as everything continues to rise in cost, and my financial goals continue to be substantial. I felt the most unstable I had been for years, thinking “maybe I’m not so responsible after all?”
With each iteration of my yearly plan as the prospects came and went, milestones and future trips kept getting pushed out and it felt like my life was stalling.
Are sabbaticals supposed to motivate you to return to work or to convince you to never pursue regular full-time work ever again? For me, taking a “sabbatical” has only made me more sure that I’d to work a 9-5 for the next few years, rather than starting my own thing. All I’d like is a little bit of stability.
IV. a rejuvenated, more steady return 💫
i.e. was all of this (the 27 flights, 13 countries, 408 days since the corporate world, 611 days since full-time corporate employment, 2 snowboard seasons,…) worth it? // [July 2024 - ]
When I come home, I find that I can better sense change around the neighbourhood. When I come home, I’m more appreciative of the suburbs, and how the recent rains have made the uncontrollable weeds look more lush. I love leaving, because I know I’ll always be back.
Time moves slower in the morning.
It’s a luxury to be able to come home and not go straight to work. This helped me reframe the borrowed time I had when I returned from travel, as my friends scrambled back to their professional lives.
Then shortly after, my next opportunity came together so fast that I find myself wondering, how did this even happen? Perhaps it is a dash of unhinged self-confidence or a dash of luck or a dash of good timing. It makes me so delighted to be returning to the corporate world in a way that is not unlike my original intentions, from my utmost positive recruiting days.
And with that, it’s important to me to wrap these past 611 days up with a pretty little bow of wins and reflections.
wins:
I edited my first vlog!!!!!!! I also recorded myself playing Bandle Tale and everyone thought I became a streamer. (I’m not.)
LONG WALKS! (aka multi-day walks!) I want to do at least once per year until forever. Kumano Kodo + Dolomites in 2023, Camino de Santiago + Yoho National Park in 2024. Perhaps more BC ones next year?
The longest kayaking / camping trip I’ve ever done — I just want to be on the water more!
lots of solo travel, lots of group travel — figured out what my fav cadence is for this. (2-3 days of solo in between some group travel?)
continuing to laugh at everything this silly life has to offer, even through the times when you inevitably don’t feel good enough so that you can get back up to joyful time well spent
the missed opportunities & how I recovered:
I did not read many books on my physical bookshelf. But I realized that I don’t have to finish the books I read! I can pick books up and put them down and I can absolutely return to them later!
I did not write my PMP but I am actually doing the course now! And it’s perfect as I enter my next role doing project management!
I did write more. I wrote two freelance pieces. I’m inspired to do more.
applied for so many jobs without the coveted success of an offer. then eventually, I got one. more on this in my next post!
Taking time off from my career has, at its simplest, showed me undoubtably what I consider a good use of time. What I consider fulfillment outside of work. Travel, friends, family, writing, time outdoors. It’s an easy reminder that even when my career is back in the picture, these are what I need to keep weaving into my weeks.
July 2023: Serena is a blogger, snowboard instructor, and ex-consultant based in Toronto.
July 2024: Serena is a freelance writer, project manager, snowboard instructor, and will happily talk to anyone about third spaces, based in Toronto for now.
A 2025 preview: Serena continues to frolic…
so excited for you!!
I found this randomly thanks to the algorithm but wanted to say it was a really nice piece. It was cool to hear about your travels and the openness you had talking about the ups and downs of being out of a corporate job. Keep up the great work!